If I Were Judge
Then Absalom would say, “Oh that I were judge in the land! Then every man with a dispute or cause might come to me, and I would give him justice.” (2 Samuel 15:4)
Jesus, I simultaneously love and hate this story. I remember as a kid reading those Bible story comic books furiously booing Absalom’s Loki-esque manipulations, his impetuous and ungrateful attitude towards his father David. As I grew older, my heart understood a bit of his growing resentment after the disgrace to his sister Tamar, but I still tend to sinfully cheer his fitting but tragic end, a victim of his own cowardice and ultimately his vanity.
As my path through scripture found me here this morning, I chuckled to myself as I read the melodramatic manipulation tactics that Absalom is employing here. Then you convicted me once more, in a part of scripture that I never thought would be applicable to me. Oh how blind I am.
Lord, I am Absalom. I constantly look about at your kingdom, and my wicked and silly heart sits in the gate and bemoans “if only I were king, this would be set right!” How foolish! I am an adopted son of a good and wise king, an heir and blessed with my crimes forgiven. How could I look around and desire a different world? Please forgive me. I know you are in control, that your plan is far more perfect and sound than David’s kingdom. Please invade my heart fully, flood my soul with peace in my present and gloriously saved state. I surrender my will, please help me to surrender more and more till all my earthly plans begin and end with “If the Lord wills.” I pray this in Jesus’ precious and all-consuming name, amen.